Holymcgrail's Blog
Yawn...
Wow, this "contest" certainly lost all of its steam. Oooh and look, they didn't even reset the votes to Zero....what a mess this is.
Oh wells, I gets to meet and share the stage with RuPaul later on this month as I pass on the crown of Miss SF Hooker at Midnight Mass showing of Starrbooty
Anyhoo, Vote for Raya!
Did you Know, Part Two!
So…
If you have been reading the blogs of lil ole me, you understand the why I am such a fascinating character. I'm crazy as hell, performed all over SF (and beyond) for the last 3 years, versatile with performance styles from basic lip-synchs to the outrageous epic productions, I paint my own face and make my own wigs from scratch. Oh and that thing of me being a Biological Female and in a loving Lesbian relationship with my gorgeous girl, Jodi.
But also…
1) I am married to (yikes) a Man, who use to crossdress and perform a bit on stage. Yes, one of those "my student visa is expiring...can you help me?" situations. Alas, I was bored of his stupidness and I wanted to be alone, okay so have the place to myself to be bad, plus he couldn't cough up the cash per my agreement. So now I am trying to track him down to serve the divorce papers and get on with my life with the love of my life. Who knows, with those new Same Sex Marriage laws in California...
2) Before marrying a man (or lack there of), I was in 2 long term Lesbian relationships for 6 years. I came out at 19 but knew I was special when I first saw Apollonia in Purple Rain and wanted to touch her boobies while dressed like Prince (he was prettier). After the 2nd heartbreak I was like “Women are too Much to Handle, Let me Jump the Fence!” Only to get with a Cross-dressing secretly Gay Man I am hunting down for a Divorce….yeah I know, nice move Holy!
3) I was an up-and-coming Dominatrix. I was about to go into business before I got into a relationship. I Loved to mind screw and torture my subs and had an expertise of feminization. Yes, honey, I made the most handsome stud into my beautiful dolls, complete with fishy makeup and girly clothing. Forced them to walk in 6” heels and clean my house for my amusement, as well as treat me as a Goddess. Ooooh it hurt so good. And I was really fabulous with all of this but this power over people, mentally it leaked into my other social life of drag and even my everyday life as girl. I was feeling wonderful yet empty, and dammit…those dolls were so needy, no matter how much I beat them or strapped it to….(oh wait, this could easily get too XXX) and it wasn’t about them…it was suppose to be about me.
4) I am a phone whore. I work as a Customer Service Rep for a non profit organization that helps other non profit organizations obtain computer stuff for like pennies so they can save the cash to help their organizations. I am on the phones like all day. Yay! Not my idea job but it pays the bills. Every morning I wake up cursing and dread having to face the day…then I have breakfast and feel kinda better. One day, I can fly this coop. But until then...How can I help you today?
5) I used to be a real phone whore…well sort of. I was actually a self proclaimed sex advisor and for .99 a minute you could call me with all of your, issues, dysfunctions or whatever. When I think about it, it did pay the bills kinda Fierce as I had regulars and most of the time I was giving bogus advise or just listen to them complain about how small their manhood is, ew!
I think that is enough for now.
Holy McGrail
“I Have the Best Tranny Tits Money Didn’t Buy!”
It's Not Easy Being Queen
I don't know America, I don't think you are ready for a Queen like me.
Oh, it's not because I am a biological woman. I don't care if you make judgments based on that, that's your problem and you can suck my toe...I do it and do it well. Ahem: http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=33935597
No, it more about the kind of drag throughout the US that is not the kind of flavor of drag I, as well as my others beside me, are use to.
Take for example. I am listening to Andrea True Connection "More More More" and prepping for a show I am doing tomorrow night with the theme being Trans Fat...tis a celebration of the plus sized deluscious queens.
Well, I do believe to be a classic standard, my deranged yet clever mind is twisting this up to hell by doing a Porno/Commercial with a guy looking like Jared from Subway 'Renamed Chubway' and me going down on his 'footlong' before making him to a sandwich with another plump beauty. The video will be up on youtube afterwards along with the rest of my videos. http://www.youtube.com/user/fauxqueendiva
I hear often that the drag in San Francisco is different from everywhere else, especially at Trannyshack where I've been performing for a little over 2 years. Although I do not frown upon say the beauty/lip-syncing Queens it is not just my flavor, well not all the time... on occasion I will do a basic lip-synch, but still it is very dramatic and emotional.
I like being funny and creative in most of my performances…It is that ‘Thing’ about drag that makes it enjoyable for me. I love it when people come up to me and say “OMG, you are the one who did the $12 Lion King!” or “I remember your Pigsfeets Bessie Smith Number and when you ate that pigs feet my stomach got queasy, but then you drank the pickled pigsfeet brine in the jar….GROSS! I love you!” I usually then smile back and say 'Awwww Shucks, Thanks Sweetie!'
I also love watching the Drag here in San Francisco, sometimes the truly bizarre, inspirationally beautiful, heartfelt, down right retarded and beyond all FIERCE! I like concepts and story telling...but again, I've seen some of the most amazing and captivating lip-synchs because queens own the stage with their presence and draw you in.
Flawless makeup, gorgeous wigs and sensational outfit and a well know tune? Sure you'll have my attention and I'll admire it for a moment as I visually get it, I get the illusion, very pretty.
But...
Can you also make me cry, gasp or even make me pee a little on myself from laughing? Can you burn something permenantly in my brain? If I didn’t catch your name…can you still make me excited to compliment on how entertaining your performance was to me even if it was years ago? How does your version or Interpretation of that classic standard stand out from the other performancs of the many queens who performed it as well?
Hmmmmmmmmmm....Hmmmmmmmmmm, indeed.
So have the illusion of flawlessness, tis wonderful. BUT if you don't know the words to your song to go with your perfected look...that is where I draw the line! Oh honey no! And that is also when the focusing on the rest of the flaws happen to keep us 'entertained'...you other queens know what I am talking about.
Realness, yeah...I'll give you Realness.
Holy McGrail
Please Vote!
I Said I'm Movin' On Up...
351 Votes! Woohooooo...thanks!
But more curious is the Over 1000 views.
So sure I may not be able to catch up with the lovely ladies at the top, but I am having a grand ole time just spreading the word about Me!
I know what troubles I may have to confront if chosen to be on this show from the queens and maybe the viewing audience...but honey, I am ready!
If I can deal with all these SF Queens with their special and sometimes overwhelming personalities and antics, I am more than sure I can hold my stuff down for any Queen anywhere.
Don't Let the Smooth Taste Fool Ya.
This show needs personality and talent....but in a non-tradtional and campy/bizarre way to boggle the mind and touch a nerve. If not me, at least someone that fits that bill! Raya Light and Putanesca would just light up that show and be entertaining.
Hell, Maybe I'll have my own show one day. Just Watch America.
Thanks for reading and your love!
Holy McGrail - Faux Queen Diva
"I'm Not a Lipstick Lesbian but a LipSynch Lesbian!"
P.S. One of the advantages having a born with vagina is that I don't have to bother with tucking...therefore allowing extra time to pump up a wig higher, add a little more glitter to the eye or even gasp show up to a show on time!
(hey, watch this) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SoedI3gCaDY
Popping That Drag Cherry on Stage
Yanking a live crab out of a Tranny’s snatch, The $12 Dollar Lion King complete with Carboard Gazelles, Singing to a Crack Pipe, Drinking Hot Sauce out of a Martini Glass. Sure my drag numbers are more like crazy productions nowadays. But my drag roots started in performing your traditional way…Lip synch to a catchy well loved song and be admired for your looks as well as your ‘talent’.
Here in San Francisco, Faux Queens have been part of the Drag World for some time. (I could go into a complete History of the Faux Queen…but I’ll save that for the book). In fact my first performance was at the 10th annual Faux Queen Pageant back in 2005. Can you imagine, a whole night dedicated to drag queens trapped in women’s bodies and the crowd that supported and adored them?
I have always had an eye for the fabulous and a passion for glamour plus I suffered from the sensation of being lost and not with my own kind. Hell, I didn’t even know what the hell a Faux Queen was until I came across this ad for the Pageant. But baby I swear I heard a choir and organs play when it dawned on me. YES! This is Me! This Is My Calling!
I lived in Oakland and never traveled to the City much. But in Oakland the Drag Queens were more about dramatic lip synchs and drawing in the audience with their presence. So when I entered this Faux Queen Pageant, I thought I would do the same. My song choice? Jennifer Holiday’s “And I’m Telling You”. Yeah….I know. Why such a big offering of a song up front? Easy….I absorbed that song, literally.
Earlier that summer, Miss Jennifer Holiday was the featured performer for Gay Pride San Francisco’s main stage. I was into photography at the time so I had a golden Ticket, ala Press Pass that let me roam basically anywhere during the event. When Miss Holiday belted out that song, I was in the very front with all the press and photographers, I could have grabbed her ankles but instead I was absorbing every note, gesture and fabulousness from Miss Holiday. Okay, yes her spit as well…I was that close! So you see “And I am Telling You” was on my skin. And after her performance I said to myself “if I ever get a chance to perform as a Drag Queen, I would love to do that song”
Months later and after hundreds of replaying that darn song and practicing in the mirror over and over again….I got my chance in the spotlight at the Faux Queen Pageant. And if that was my only chance to live the glamorous moment, I could have died the next day totally happy and proud.
The crowd absolutely loved it. Some even questioned my gender, as if I was a male. I didn’t even place, and that was still okay, I did it. The real Drag Queens on the scene were impressed and encouraged me to keep going….and that baby, was a way greater feeling of joy than any title or crown on my head could have given me.
And Here I am still.
With drag I have this awesome outlet for my creative energy. I have performed many crazy, clever and some sincere numbers on stages throughout the Bay Area. I’ve been able to meet wonderful people including some colorful and fabulous queens. I’ve been to flown to London and Hawaii twice to perform with other Trannyshack Queens. I love the sensation of lighting up a room when I walk in and the smiles I leave when I go. Being admired for my work on and off the stage is pretty intoxicating. And the Freebies! Yes, the drinks, admission, the gay porn and even more Gay Porn!
Most of all, I am having Fun. Plain and Simple.
My motivation is to have the best stories to tell when I finally roll my ass in to an old folk’s home…and even then, I may still be dripping in jewels, wig pumped up to oblivion and still gumming to my favorite song on the radio.
Thanks for Reading! And Don’t Forget to Vote!
Holy McGrail
Serving Real Realness
The Holy Eye Strikes Again!
On Friday was the 10th annual Gay Day at Great America when we take over a whole Amusement park, get toasty and dance the night away. I was part of the Trannyshack show and had to perform twice on the Main Stage. So after I was done I left my suit case in the dressing room area and went to get toasty myself and not try and hurl on the rides.
Kelly Rowland was the star performer that night but was not to be on stage until Midnight! Honey, it was cold but I thought it would be fun to watch the show...plus I always thought she was the cutest one of Destiny's Child.
So under tight tight security and shooing away everyone near the backstage gate while she was on and was about to leave...I find myself and my gilfriend Jodi are the only ones near the gate. The Amusement park staff created a human wall/barricade all around us so Miss Rowland can escape with ease. I'd thought it be cute if I could get a snapshot with her...but most importantly my stuff was still back there.
She bursts though from the backstage and towards my direction, folks behind the barricade are screaming. Security in suits are rushing her out and I look toward her and said "Nice job on stage, Honey". She looks up and at me with a smile on her face and says "Ohh thaaaanks.."
Ok, so then in slow motion she stopped like a deer in head lights, drops her arms and approaches me just captivated. "Your makeup...your eyes are soooo pretty"
"Oh thanks honey!...Can I have My picture with you?" "Sure" she replies smiling again.
Pose....Click!
Then she went on being rushed on with security to where ever she was hiding out. I went on to the backstage area and got my suitcase and went home tickled a nice shade of pink.
Stopping them in Thier Tracks,
Holy McGrail
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SoedI3gCaDY
Here is the link to the performance of me that day. It's me doing my Diana Ross transformation number to "I'm Coming Out'...and on Gay Day, How Fitting!
I'm Her Number One Fan!
Included in my updated gallery of glamour is a picture of my cute as hell girlfriend Jodi. Isn't she a dream? I just felt like telling the world that...the loving was good to me last night. Yes, the After Orgasmic Confessional. Wooooooo!
Anyhoo, I love she and had to tell her and you that. Ain't that Cute?
Still Moist,
Holy McGrail
Funny Fact: After 4 weeks of dating...courting...sexing...whatever...We decided to move in together. Aaahh yes, living up to the stereotype.
Did you Know.....
... I shave my eyebrows damn near off and shave my hairline for the sake of making room for my eye makeup?
... I used to ride public transportation from Oakland to San Francisco in full drag, in daytime and at night, by myself just so I could perform and party in the SF Scene?
... I stuff my bra although I have real girl Tasty Ta-Ta's and only wear bras when doing drag although I am a real bio-female?
... I don't use MAC or Krylon and that all of my makeup is bought at your friendly neighborhood drug store?
... I dress pretty freaking bummy and without a lick a of makeup on my face plus sometimes my hair is a mess when I am in my daytime, out of drag girl persona?
... I spent no more than $25 dollars in materials for making my wigs and have even bought hair at the Dollar Store and made it Work or just recycle my wigs over and over again?
...I appreciate all those who have supported me in this and am a having gay ole fun time?
That is all for now.
Holy McGrail
The Big, The Bold & The Balls
So I was browsing around the application for this show at it asks to list any titles you may have.
Well I have one for you America...! I am Proud to say
I, Holy McGrail, am the reigning Miss SF Hooker 2007!
Oh the competition was FIERCE as this was a title that would be widely respected and admired here in our fun city of San Francisco.
Imagine dozens of Lovely Hookers decked out in their most scandalous drag on the Midnight Mass stage right before the showing of 'Coffy'. The Fabulous Peaches Christ, reads off one by one from the little cards that each contestant submitted. Amazing and hilarious stuff indeed on the reasons why each hooker should win.
So how did I win? How was your girl Holy able to stand out and capture the title of Miss SF Hooker?
Honey, actions speak louder than words.
I showed up to Midnight Mass with a glass of warm milk, a straw, a spoon and a jar of instant coffee. Fifteen minutes before the show/competition, I went around the audience asking the gentlemen if one of them would accompany me on stage when my turn was up and whip out his balls.
Yes I said WHIP OUT HIS BALLS!
After successfully finding a cute random but willing guy, I tell him to wait as I headed up to the stage waiting side by side with some gorgeous hookers and with my Milk, spoon and coffee and wait for my turn in the spotlight.
My name is called and my guy joins me to the center of the stage and I kneel to my knees. Instead of list the reasons why I should be Miss SF Hooker 2007, I had Peaches Christ read off instructions I wrote on my card on how to give a Ballcuzzi.
'See the handsome man whip out his balls'...'In celebration of the showing of the movie Coffy tonight, Holy will now add a spoonful of instant coffee to the milk'...'Now Watch Holy place the young mans balls in the glass of coffee'...'Holy will now blow bubbles in the coffee with her straw'...'See the smile on the man's face'. Viola a Ballcuzzi!
Now, the audience are already laughing, well thier balls off...But as Peaches Christ read off the last line 'You can not spell Holy without the word Ho'...I drunk that whole glass of Coffee!!!
Needless to say, it was a crowd pleaser. And I walked away with the title. Oh it's on youtube as it was recorded for Peaches' Show. Not the Ballcuzzi itself is shown...but see the crowning of me as Miss SF Hooker 2007! Hell yeah I am proud of it and smile everytime I look at my $1.97 paper gold crown.
Holy McGrail
Miss SF Hooker 2007
P.S. My girlfriend was proud too. Yeah I said girlfriend...which would make me a GASP...Lesbian? Technically yes, although I don't consider myself as one.
Baby, I am to Gay and Fabulous to be labeled a Lesbian. Don't you agree?
Holy McGrail - The Biologial Female Drag Queen Diva
Do wanna see heads spin on this Show not just from the other Queens but from the audience as well? Then vote for my crazy yet fabulous butt and put me on this show!
Imagine…It would be like a freaky reverse ‘Crying Game’ moment.
Yes, All Hail the Mighty Vagina of Holy McGrail! Hahaha!
Oh The Drama!
Confused? Okay, so I’ll put it out there.
I am a Biological Female Drag Queen, or the more correct loving term of Faux Queen.
Oh and don’t think for one minute I can’t hold it down or begin to think that me being a Woman is Flawed, Honey. I'll give you Queens a run for Your Money.
1) I paint my own face which is adored and stops them in their tracks.
2) I design and lovingly create my wigs from scratch which are dubbed Holy Originals
3) My stage presence and outrageous performances are memorable and loved. (Check some out on youtube if ya want…under Holy McGrail.)
4) I am witty and can laugh at myself and the world.
5) I am Loveable, Fun and Crazy….but can scratch if provoked. And have you seen my Holy McGrail Nails created by Moi as well?
That’s right.
Most importantly, Drag is my Passion and not just some hobby. I love the Stage and the smiles I bring….even when not on Stage and partying around San Francisco and twirling with the Gays and the Straights. I have performed in front of thousands and have traveled to bring glamour, joy and fierceness to audiences…ok and maybe make them pee a little on themselves from laughing.
Oh, I also love the joy I bring to other real women who never thought that real women could ever be a gorgeous Drag Queens.
Anyhoo, enough about little ole me. If anything…enjoy my pictures and my upcoming videos and blogs. But vote and vote again for me!
If after all this I can bring a smile to your face (and especially RuPaul’s gorgeous face) I can go on with my day of being a Happy and still out of her mind Queen.
Hugz and Hair Weaves,
Holy McGrail
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